Alphabet Stock Price: What's Happening Today & How It Stacks Up Against Big Tech

"Gemini 3 Saved Google"? Yeah, Right.

So, Alphabet's stock jumps 6% because of Gemini 3. Buffett's suddenly throwing billions at them, and some analyst is drooling over its "Deep Think" mode. Give me a freakin' break.

The market's a fickle beast, and this whole AI frenzy is starting to smell like 1999 all over again. Remember Pets.com? Yeah, I bet you don't. Because it's gone. Just like half these "AI leaders" will be in a few years.

The Hype Train is Overcrowded

Ben Reitzes calls Gemini 3 "the most important AI news." Most important for who, Ben? Your bonus? He thinks it'll "fundamentally reshape" the industry. Newsflash: every tech bro with a half-baked algorithm thinks their garbage is gonna reshape the industry. They're all wrong.

Salesforce CEO Marc Benioff is ditching ChatGPT after two hours with Gemini 3? Seriously? The guy's a walking marketing campaign. Next week he'll be raving about some other shiny new toy. I bet he's got a whole drawer full of those gadgets.

And "Deep Think" mode? Sounds like something out of a bad sci-fi movie. I'm picturing a bunch of servers in a dark room, pondering the meaning of life instead of actually doing anything useful. Then again, maybe that's what passes for "innovation" these days.

Show Me the Money (That Isn't Just Hype)

Okay, Google Cloud revenue is up 34%. Impressive, sure. But how much of that is actually from AI, and how much is just the usual cloud infrastructure stuff? They ain't exactly breaking it down in detail, are they?

Ad revenue's up too, apparently because AI is "enhancing" their traditional cash cows. Right. More like using AI to shove even more targeted ads down our throats. Thanks, Google. That's exactly what the world needed. I'm sure they're using the increased profits to pay all those laid off employees.

Alphabet's P/E ratio is "below the S&P 500 average." Translation: the stock was underperforming and they needed a good PR stunt to pump it up. And offcourse, it worked.

Here's the real question nobody seems to be asking: is Gemini 3 actually better than the competition, or is it just better at marketing? Because let's be real, Google's always been good at the latter. Alphabet Emerges as Premier AI Stock After Gemini 3 Launch, Backed by Buffett and Analysts

From Challenger to... What, Exactly?

The article claims Gemini 3 is transitioning Alphabet from an "AI challenger to established leader." Established leader in what? Burning through cash? Creating more privacy nightmares?

The real story, apparently, is Alphabet's "demonstrated ability to monetize AI technology." Oh, goody. More ways for them to track us, profile us, and sell us stuff we don't need. And I'm sure all that data will be kept safe and secure, with no risk of breaches or misuse. Yeah, right.

So, What's the Real Scam Here?

Alphabet's a giant, bloated corporation that's addicted to growth at all costs. They'll slap the "AI" label on anything to get investors excited, even if it's just a glorified chatbot. And honestly, I'm tired of pretending like any of this matters. The whole thing feels like a house of cards.

The Nvidia stock price is probably going to jump tomorrow. The meta stock price will fall. Who gives a damn?

It's All Smoke and Mirrors